Evil Stepmom Syndrome
Does anyone else have step children that hate you???sometimes I feel like I am the only one... my husband and I have been married 3 years, he has 2 boys 10 and 12 , I have 2 girls 16 and 20. My husband Brian use to be the best step father there is he was loving, careing, fun to be with, took them places, helped with homework ect, better than there own father does. but in a flash it all changed.... for some strange reason it all changed. my husband started being hatefull to them, ignoring them, yelling at them, my kids have grown to hate him and dont want him our lives, they want me to divorce him. his kids are treated as the best kids in the world that could not possibly do anything wrong, his kids what they want from there parents,they give there kids what ever they want when they want it but my husband makes sure I say no to mine in a flash... his kids lie to there parents and blame us for things to get us in a fight. the oldest stepson hates me the most, he is 12 and is allowed to suck his thumb, it drives me mad when i see this,.... but he is never told to stop except by me. im the evil stepmom. sometimes I go to the bathroom to cry because I feel like such and outsider in my own home, My husband Brian use to be the best guy to me and my kids, not it is all about the boys and what they want that we get left out and feel second best...i have been to every basketball and football and baseball game to support these brats but nothing works, they want dad all to there selves. when i try to say no to his kids and yell at them my husband gets mad at me and sais his famous qoute. WHAT A FING JOKE... everytime he sais that i just want to die... he hurts me so bad and doesnt even know it. things are getting worse every time those boys are with us, my husband changes, he becomes a different person when they are with us, he becomes hatefull and disrespectfull to me and my kids, my kids stay away from the house most of the time due to my husband hateing them so much , they know it, they know he hates them, I feel I need to have someone to talk to or to vent to about this, I feel so alone and miserable anyone else out there like me? the eveil stepmom???
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Comment by Mrs.X on November 16, 2009 at 8:41pm - Boy I sure can relate. You really need to talk to your husband. When my husband and I married, his two sons were very mean and disrespectful and aggressive. My husband felt that to he did not want me to have to get caught in the middle by disciplining them, because they truly disrespected him also. However, that became a nightmare for our family, and our marriage. In order for a blended family to work, the parents need to unite and parent both biological and stepchildren together. Kids love nothing more that to pit parents against each other. I know my stepson's delighted in it. I really resent all of the time I put into going to their events, taking them to friends houses, cooking them their favorite meals, taking them to the doctor. (My husband has/had custody). One side of me says I should try to to understand their resentment, but six years have passed since we've been married and the kids are 18 and 20 and its still a huge issue. Our marriage has been severely damaged by all of this. I do feel second class and my health has suffered. My advice is to either get your husband united with you to create a better home climate that all understand of take care of yourself and your children and move on. (I hate to suggest this, but I guess this is were I'm at myself). Take care of yourself.
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Comment by His Rock? on November 10, 2009 at 4:20pm -
I hear you loud and clear! The guy the BM left my fiance for is no longer in the picture, surprise! Now instead of wanting the kids all of the time (kept thinking she would get more $$$) she dumps the kids off whenever she can. Right now we have them extra because her mom is ill. Before she would have had them stay with a friend so she could count the day. But...she wants to be foot loose and fancy free to date. I love how my life is so affected by someone I can't stand! I want to be a good SM and give the kids a constant in their lives, our house, but I really resent it. Because when BM wants to be a mom I am the evil SM.
I'm trying very hard to brush it all off. It's just so much energy either way. If I think about it it takes energy and trying not to let it get to me is energy.
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Comment by Ani on November 10, 2009 at 2:21pm - Hi....I think it would be so much better if you and your hubby could talk about how you feel......it is not fair to you or your daughters to be treated like this. Have a talk with him and make sure he understands that you and the girls are no happy. Good luck sweetie...hugs Ani
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Comment by little on November 9, 2009 at 1:22pm - It is absolutly rediculous when people think that step parents have no authority! You as a step parent are now helping to raise anychildren when they are at your house and part of your family. People say that step parents have no right because they don't want a step parent in their life to have any say over their children. As long as the step parent isn't hurting the child they have the right!
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Comment by BETTERWOMAN on November 8, 2009 at 3:54am - WELL UR RIGHT!!!! IT IS YOUR BUSINESS HES IN YOUR HOUSE AND YOU ARE THE ONE DEALING WITH IT.
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Comment by Hated stepmom on November 7, 2009 at 2:47pm
- I have tried for 6 years to be a good stepmom, Have been to all of there school functions, trust me thers been alot, have went to all basball,football, baketball games, cheered them on, I work in vending so i bring home treats for his kids and send some stuff home with them, have taken them cintless fishing ang camping trips,have bought a expensive members club to our favorite camp place just to make the kids happy, have taken them to every 4th of july memorial day and labor day camp out with all the kids, have done it all and still........i am the evil step mom i just want to give up and say go your own way and our go mine
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Comment by Hated stepmom on November 7, 2009 at 9:40am
- i know how you feel gnatto, i feel so left out all the time, i know my husband wants to see his boys but i get so left out all the time, i get so lonely setting by myself
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Comment by Hated stepmom on November 7, 2009 at 9:37am
- my grandaughter that is 2 and a half wants to suck her thumb now when she sees him do it and yes it is my business, it is my house 2
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Comment by Hated stepmom on November 7, 2009 at 9:36am
- haha funny how we cant wait for sundy at 6 haha
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Comment by Hated stepmom on November 7, 2009 at 9:35am
- i didnt know there was a book like that, ill try to find it, anything to make this problem work, me and husband do have a good marriage, it is only when his brats come to stay that makes it worse,this morning the kids jumped out of bed at 7 am and gotakes t there stuff ready for basketball, i said boys, it is 7 am... it doesnt start it 9 am thats 2 hrs from now, they looked at me as i was the evil stepmom talking to them, they are sports kids and are always into them year round, every game and every practice we have to be at, i shouldnt say we.. i mean husband,dont think they want me there, so sports take up most of our time, his ex acts like these kids are playing in professional sports or something, they make a big deal out of a elementary sport. i know i am being sarcastic about it i should want to be there but i dont want to be, i hate it, but i go anyway to show my support, id rather be home. my stepson we call druggie, long story..... he steals from us 2,. anything that isnt tied down, he puts things in the backpack and we have to check it before they leave, pretty bad... the thing that bugs ne the most is the thumb sucking in the 12 year old, drives me insane, hate to see it and hear it, he wont stop, in the car he leans down in the backseat so i dont see it but i can hear it, when i tell him that 12 year olds dont suck there thumbs that he is too old he just sais oh whatever. he lies real bad, every thing out of his mouth is a half version of the truth, we have caight him in one lie after another. it just doenst get any better and it has been 6 years
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