Editor's Page

Wednesday Martin, Ph.D.--

One of the biggest points of confusion and controversy as I talk to people about Stepmonster and stepmother reality is the injunction, "Put the kids first" and "The kids should always come first" and other variations on this theme. It's become a virtual mantra since Constance Ahrons introduced the idea of "The Good Divorce" and highly cooperative co-parenting after a breakup as ideal for the kids. The members of the ex-couple, Mom and Dad, should put their differences… Continue

Being a step-parent is a daunting task, even when you get along with the kids. My stepdaughters live three hours away from me and visit every other weekend, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from being part of their lives! I sat down with them and we brainstormed 99 ways we could keep in touch.

Here's Idea #1, "Think of 30 things you have in common."

When you meet new people, you're always looking for ways to get to know them. In a stepfamily relationship, both you and the kids are… Continue

By Dan Gottlieb

Dear Dan,
I'm having some stepfamily problems. My husband and I are in a relatively new second marriage. He has one son and I have a daughter.

Last night my teenage daughter had two friends sleep over. When my husband came home late, tired and hungry from a long day at work, he did not say hello to the girls or even acknowledge their presence. He said nothing to them before leaving this morning, either.

I was put off by this; I feel an acknowledgment is a priority for everyone… Continue

Not that anybody cares.

Ten years ago, when I met Stubby and Stretch (those were the names they told me to call them should I ever deem to mention them in writing), they were only 10 and 12 -- not little boys, exactly, but they seemed pretty little to me.

I’d been a widow for two years when I started dating their dad. My three children were in their 20s. I had almost forgotten what it’s like to hang out with people who take such obvious delight in beating me at cards.

Not that I could blame t… Continue

By Armin Brott
Ask Mr. Dad

Q: My boyfriend's former wife does not co-parent with him at all. I have seen vulgar e-mails, heard her use foul language in front of the kids and tell them "your father is kicking us out of our home."
She signs them up for things without confirming it with him but exp… Continue